she wakes up, she makes up;

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:48:25 GMT

& if you can't be with the one you love hunny, love the one you're with

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 19:42:39 GMT

i don't even check your horoscope anymore&
you probably don't even understand how serious that is..

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:33:27 GMT

just excited for life overall really
welcome back youthful enthusiasm

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 18:43:35 GMT

thank you god for the friends you've put in my life
maybe i can't hang out with trevor, but you've still surrounded me with others i love

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:27:44 GMT

this time last year i was basically dying in the hospital. i was mad i was angry i was lonely.
thank you god for keeping me healthy this year. it's been the first year in a loooong time i haven't had any hospitalizations. sometimes i forget to be thankful. i need to get better at taking time out when things are going well, and show some appreciation. not only have i not got sick, things have finally started getting BETTER even. all my bloodwork has improved, my skin has cleared up, my hair is growing back, i can (for the most part) breathe, i'm not spending my entire day liquid shitting, i can fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning, holding down a meal is an actual possibility, painkillers have been a rarity, and i haven't missed work or school ONCE. it's an amazing feeling. for a while there i forgot what it was like to feel "normal".

i guess i'm really grateful in the sense that other CF patients my age seem to get worse.. and thankfully (knock on wood), this year i'm not...

scorpio

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 17:40:59 GMT

High pressure tactics take so many different forms. Not fond of the direct approach you’re an expert at subliminal strategy. In your current situation this could turn out to be a huge asset. No matter what form things are taking, your needs won’t get met by making an issue of them. Whomever you’re dealing with likes to know that they’re on top. The merits of surrender mixed with unconditional love are as powerful as water when it comes to wearing down the rock of power or resistance. At the moment, your strength lies in your ability to inspire their trust.

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 00:21:32 GMT

LET
IT
BE
ME

ironic

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 19:00:12 GMT

this morning my mom asked me about setting up a livejournal account
'something your nosey father won't find and read'
my parents used to ground me all the time in high school for what they would read on here

the older i'm getting the more i'm realizing how often my dad forced my mom into the good cop bad cop role
i'm a lot more like my mom than i used to believe...

1. It is midnight. Who are you texting?
probably trying to text trevor

2. It is Wednesday afternoon, where are you usually?
leaving class, going to work

3. Who are the last four people to send you a text message?
there's only 6 in my inbox, four from maygan two from my brother

4. What is on your mind right now?
i have to pee

5. What was the last movie you saw in the theater?
zombieland!

6. What are you listening to?
my phone vibrating

7. Your Christmas list consists of:
maybe i should ask for a laptop?

8. Do you go to clubs or bars?
its so hot up in tha club i aint got no shoes on

9. Your favorite season?
the beginning of fall

10. What did you do last weekend?
a date night with some girlfriends on friday and lots of vodka on saturday

11. How do you feel about your hair?
could be worse

12. What time do you wake up for school/work?
6:45am

13. What movie is in your DVD player?
good question, i wonder..

14. Last two numbers in your phone number?
72

15. Who calls you by a nickname?
your mom

16. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
all over

17. Do you like roller coasters?
yessss:)

18. Favorite T.V. show?
we don't pick favorites

19. Your last IM was from?
i only really get on aim to talk to julia.. so her

20. Favorite Beverage?
just like tv shows

21. When is the next time you will kiss someone of the opposite sex?
october 24th

22. What did you today?
work, bullshit, class, bullshit again before i go back to work

23. Are you tired?
naw

24. Do you have to pee?
hahahah weirrrd

25. What shoes did you wear today?
mocasins

26 So what is going on?
i've been praying for some peace of mind & it finally seems to be granted

27. Laugh much?
too much

28. What are your plans for Saturday?
none in stone

29. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done with your cell phone?
when i was younger i used to think i could months and months without paying my bill thinking it wouldn't add up

30. Last restaurant you went to?
chillllllis

31. Bubble gum flavor of choice?
cinnamon

32. Do you want to take something back that happened in the last week?
not that i can think of

33. What do you want to be when you grow up?
content

34. The most excitement you had this week?
mellow so far

35. What do you usually order at Taco Bell?
i don't

36. Have you ever sat all the way through Gone With the Wind?
nope

37. When was the last time you were up all night?
tripping on acid in the woods

38. Favorite Board Game?
scrabble

39. Where is your favorite place?
another dimension

40. Do you ever think about the price of gasoline?
when i need gas

41. Do you sleep with a fan on?
i used to, but my apartment has no ceiling fans:( and i've yet to buy one

42. What is the best thing about winter?
everything holiday related, and the feeling of warming yourself from the inside out

43. How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
probably not enough

44. What makes you feel like you are young again?
i am young

45. Are you currently planning a trip?
california in a couple weeks! and i wanna take a cruise for new years

46. Who was the last person you read something out loud to?
mi madre

47. Last time you forced yourself to do something?
i guess i'm kind of constantly in a state of self-forcing

48. Have you ever googled your name and found somebody else?
no

49. Who is your number one on your top?
lauren

50. Do you drive?
allllll day everydayy no lie

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 20:23:13 GMT

hey, soul sister

and another one

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:51:42 GMT

traveling somwhere
could be anywhere
there's a coldness in the air
yeah but i don't care

take the highway

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 16:47:32 GMT

i love driving
i love road trips

they keep me centered

this world is not my home, i'm justa passing through

george has always been my favorite beatle

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 22:21:21 GMT

in my dream last night, john and i cuddled on the couch
while he passed me a joint. our legs were intertwined, fluidly like water
he kissed me and his lips were thin but wet, and his tongue was deliciously soft
i got up to use the bathroom and george yelled at me for "waving my hand in his face and touching johns pants"

cosmic energy

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 19:02:20 GMT

You are in a positive state of mind today, filled with optimism and a hopeful outlook. Your inspirational attitude is likely to draw admiration from others and increase your chances for social contacts, business advancement, or a new romance. Take advantage of all opportunities and channel them into constructive possibilities.

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 16:47:43 GMT

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what exactly is it that you are looking for?
another dimension

2. Was the last scratch you sustained made by an animal or an object?
i pick at myself

3. What do you typically bring with you when you stay overnight at someone else's house?
next day panties

4. Have you ever cancelled plans with someone simply because you didn't want to go?
well duh, that's usually the main reason

5. Have you ever ditched plans with someone for (better) plans with someone else?
yes, that constitutes as "not wanting to go"

6. What is the longest amount of time you have spent alone, without human contact?
without human contact? at all? between work and family, that's rare

7. If you are the type that likes going to the movie theater, what makes it fun? If you are not that type, why would you prefer to stay home?
the movie the company the experience, for both

8. How do you know whether or not you "have a life"? Has anyone told you to "get a life"?
i would say if you spend your time doing what you want, you have a life. and i'm pretty sure i've told myself to "get a life" more than other people have

9. What is one of your weirdest habits - the type that you generally try to keep to yourself, or perform in private?
my weirdest habits are more psychological than physical

1o. Do you like to type things a certain, unique way ( ie. "&" or "+" for "and", or using brackets instead, etc )?
i use the & sign a decent amount, more in handwriting though

11. If you are bothered by Twilight, what is it about the series that irks you so much? Or, if you like it, what are the qualities of the tale that you enjoy(ed)?
can't care

12. If a good friend asked you to go with them to see a concert featuring a band you did not know of ( or disliked ), would you choose to go with them, or would you decline?
ask stephanie about atreyu

13. When was the last time you and someone else said the exact same thing at the same time? What did you both say?
"hey"
"hey"
"you smell good"
"you smell good"
"NO YOU smell good"
"NO YOU smell good"
"weird"
"weird"

14. Is there anyone whose sentences you are able to complete without them finishing?
a handful

15. Which direction does the window in your bedroom face, approximately (if you have one)?
exactly west, always a perfect sunshine/set

16. How would you describe your room's general set up?
a shrine to dead people and the color red

17. How long have you gone without cleaning your room? Was it a mess when you finally decided to clean it?
when depression kicks in it can be weeks and weeks and then yes, it's a disaster

18. Do you keep your school supplies in good shape throughout the year, or are they trashed by the time summer comes around?
not relevant

19. What color and style of belts ( if you wear them ) do you prefer?
a couple leather ones that are brown, pink, and maroon

2o. In the past month or so, which song have you listened to most often?
no

21. Have you ever seen anyone pick their nose? Do you pick / have you picked yours?
yes

22. When was the last time you were in a public restroom?
hm, can't recall

23. Have you ever caught anyone snooping through your room/belongings? How did you react?
i catch the kids at work going through my purse a lot and i usually say "hey hey nosey!" and smack their hand away

24. Do you have dating expectations or standards? In general, what are they?
i mean, i just have general people treating expectations and standards i suppose
when it comes to dating though i do get really particular about phone response time

25. If you encountered a lost child while shopping in the mall, would you stop to help him or her, or wait for someone else to come along?
i would try to help for sure

26. Is there anything that just makes you feel like you want to die?
yes

27. How about anything that makes you feel so happy and alive?
yes

28. Do you act differently around certain people, or are you nearly the same in terms of personality no matter who you are around?
i've taken a poll and it seems as though i'm the same almost always, which is reassuring

29. Do you text or listen to music in class? Why or why not?
not in classes

3o. Who is your oldest (aged) friend? How about youngest? Which one are you closer to?
they're probably both related to work, being my boss and then her kids. in a way, i'm closer to the kids though

31. Are you typically friends with older or younger people?
younger it seems

32. What is your strongest or most obvious personality trait?
strongest and most obvious are completely different i think

33. When was the last time you tried to get out of doing something? Did it work?
i'm not sure, but if i didn't wanna do it i'm sure i didn't

34. If you could know, today, whether or not you would have a happy rest of your life, would you want to know?
i know i'll be happy, i plan to make sure of it

35. Which celebrity/famous person death has affected you the most?
john lennon

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:33:33 GMT

i don't know what i would do without trevor to calm me down

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:46:34 GMT

freaking
the
fuck
out

breathebreathebreathebreathe

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 00:44:02 GMT

Pick seven words that start with the first letter of your first name:
necklace, nicotine, neglegance, never, nazi, neurology, naked

Is there anyone that you care about more than yourself?
sometime's i let myself believe that, but i'm still not positive

Is your Myspace profile private?
nope

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or do you let them go?
i mean, life's a journey. we don't always have to walk it together in order to be together

What is one thing that people think about you that isn't true?
nost of what i hear is correct in one way or another

Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
oh of course

Any plans for tomorrow?
just work probably, getting stoned would be nice

Would you rather have your nose or tongue pierced?
i would get my nose before i got my tongue, but i'd rather have my tongue pierced

Are you waiting on something? What?
lady in waiting right here

Have you cried at all today?
a little

If you were going to go work out for two hours at the gym, would you be sore after?
probably most definitely

Do you ever randomly browse YouTube or do you only use it when you have something to look up?
eh, more when i'm looking for something specific

Pizza rolls or bagel bites?
MMMM, both but pizza rolls yeah

What do you act like when you're super tired?
usually pretty quiet and out of it, short tempered

How often do you watch television?
i love my TV

What do you think of emo people?
what do i think of people with emotions?

What is your favorite topping for ice cream?
i'm not really a toppings kinda girl

Have you seen the movie Twilight?
noo

Are you an argumentative person?
easily

Do you know who Jack Johnson is?
yessah

Did you know that toothpaste removes crayons from walls?
really?!

Do you work for what you want or is it given to you?
a pretty even split actually

What do you think of country music?
old country makes me feel nostalgic, new country i'm not aware of

When was the last time you used the bathroom?
today some time

Is it awkward when you run into your last ex?
i haven't seen any of them in years

Do you know who you want to marry?
i think so actually, but i'm still not positive i agree on "marriage"

Have you ever watched The Real World?
duh

How much cash do you have in your bedroom?
like, a few singles:(

Are you currently tanned?
yess, especially after sitting outside all day today at a tigers game

Have you ever gone to court?
yup

Have you ever played spin the bottle?
i need to bring that game back

Have you ever made out for more than two minutes?
never

Have you ever thought a cousin of yours was hot?
my cousin sarah is gorgeous

Have you ever gone over the speed limit?
way too many speeding tickets

Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?
most definitely

Have you ever smoked Marlboro cigarettes?
NEVER

Do you have an unusual name for a pet?
r.i.p molly:(

What color do you want your car to be?
my car is shiney blue and i love her

If you could change your eye color, what would you change it to?
i was born with purple eyes, woulda been cool if they stayed that way

Do you have a deck at your home?
my parents house

What would you have been named if you were born the opposite sex?
jason i guess haha i just asked

Does anyone in your family have a mental illness?
too much to mention honestly

Besides your house, where did you sleep last?
umm, i can't remember the last time i didn't sleep at home

Do you know anyone who lives in another country?
very few

Are you currently wearing anything that was made from China?
in china maybe

What was the last liquid that you choked on?
semen

Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?
both in a sense, i have a method

Who did you celebrate your last birthday with?
i had just gotten outta the hospital and i was with my parents, lauren, both my brothers and their girlfriends

What did you last eat that required milk?
mashed potatos:)

When getting dressed, do you put your pants or shirt on first?
depends. i spend a lot of time in just a shirt and panties

Is there any doubt in your mind about the whole "Christian" concept?
no

Have you worn shorts or pants more in the past seven days?
shorts totally

Have you ever been told that you have punched someone in your sleep?
always haha

What was the last thing you saw that made you smile?
a certain text message

Do you have any tattoos that you do not like anymore?
i don't have any yet because of that very reason..

Do you have a shower curtain or a door?
curtain

When can you legally go to an American bar?
been legal for a couple years

If there is a bug that is in your car, do you try and kill it or do you try and push it out the window?
whichever my instinct is at that particular time

Does your mail go into a P.O. box or the mailbox at your home?
it's more like a PO box, i live in an apartment

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:35:20 GMT

60 hour work weeks for now
but school in the fall
practicing peace within myself

it really does have something to do with what you put into the universe, as well

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 01:47:38 GMT

"SCORPIO: Your choices are so unclear and you are being driven by feelings that are way too powerful. Reconnecting to your center should be a daily routine because your passion could take you way out on a limb. Be mindful of the fact that this is a repeat scenario. You can handle it differently this time and make it so that everyone wins or you can blow everything sky-high. Others are feeling this as strongly as you are. It wouldn’t take much for them to step over the line. Whatever happens, everything is up to you at this point."

Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:03:48 GMT

Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:35:58 GMT

amazing weekend

<3

Thu, 28 May 2009 17:07:46 GMT

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

killa dude

Fri, 22 May 2009 02:49:54 GMT

Thu, 14 May 2009 19:42:01 GMT

Have you ever kissed someone in a bathroom?
i have a thing with sex in bathrooms

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
grape faygo, yay michigan economics:)

Ever kissed someone else's boyfriend/girlfriend?
both

Are you afraid of roller coasters?
never, let my stomach drop

Do you prefer hot or cold weather?
warm

Do you get distracted easily?
not distracted enough to realize i answer this question in almost every survey i fill out

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
watched tv with the "roomie"

Are you jealous of someone?
i'm envious of plenty of things about plenty of people

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
supposedly

Believe in love at first sight?
most defintely

Who were you last in the car with?
the little boys i watch

Name someone that made you laugh today:
jarod roomie

When is your birthday?
scorpio

Where do you wish you were right now?
tripping balls

How many girls do you trust?
a few, fully and completely

How many guys do you trust?
my dad and brothers, fully and completely

Do you curse in front of your parents?
my dad refers to me as "potty mouth"

At what age do you want to be married?
i don't think i want to be really, we'll see when we see

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
over and over until the day i die

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
i make myself

What did you do yesterday?
exercises, lots of sportscenter, and work

How's your heart lately?
on her way to closing i think..

Would you ever donate blood?
i tired, but they wouldn't let me due to "past medical history"

Have a bruise from the opposite sex?
done with those assholes

Did you dream of anything last night?
part of it was hanging out with the cast from 'make me a supermodel' and making out with that fox brandon

Do you look your age?
if my age was 13

What do you want right now?
mushrooms

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
not if it's the same few people who have been telling me for years and just don't seem to get it

Did you lie at all in this survey?
did you?

helpful 90s lyrics

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 13:16:46 GMT

it's just one of those days
when you don't wanna wake up
everything is fucked
everybody sucks
you don't really know why
but you wanna justify
rippin someone's head off
no human contact
and if you interact
your life is on contract
your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
it's just one of those days
it's all about the "he says" "she says" bullshit
i think you better quit
letting shit slip
or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
it's all about the "he says" "she says" bullshit
i think you better quit talkin that shit
it's just one of those days
feelin like a freight train
first one to complain
leaves with a blood stain
damn right i'm a maniac
you better watch your back
cuz i'm fuckin up your program
& if you're stuck up
you just lucked up
next in line to get fucked up
your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
it's just one of those days

i feel like shit
my suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now i'm dangerous
we've all felt like shit
& been treated like shit
all those motherfuckers that want to step up
i hope you know i pack a chain saw
i'll skin your ass raw
& if my day keeps goin this way i just might break something tonight...
i hope you know i pack a chain saw
i'll skin your ass raw
and if my day keeps going this way i just might break something tonight...
i hope you know i pack a chain saw
i'll skin your ass raw
& if my day keeps goin' this way i just might break your fucking face tonight

give me something to break
how bout your fucking face?